Living Your Identity

Photo Credit: Jane McNeill

What does “Living your identity” even mean? In the simplest terms, it means being who you are. It is about living the way you want to, the way that feels right to you. Actually doing it however is much more of a process. Sometimes, or rather often… it is the process of a lifetime. There are however, a few key components that I can share with you today to help you begin your journey.

The first component is Empathy. Specifically self-empathy, and it starts with question. We often get this part wrong so please take note of the language I use. We are inclined to ask, “Who am I?”. When we ask that however, we never really get a clear answer. Even if we get one in the moment, shortly after, or in a day or a week, we begin to question it due to some situation or another that makes us question if who we said we are, is really who we are. It become an endless cycle of trying to identify who we are based on how we are reacting. I suggest instead that we ask, “Who do I want to be?” In terms of Living Our Identity, it shifts our identity from the sum of how we react to the world to consciously reacting to the world from the place of who we have chosen to be. Both questions require us to be empathetic to ourselves. They require that listen to our inner selves and find the answers that “feel” right to us. It requires us to understand (the greatest difference between empathy and sympathy) ourselves because after we ask these questions, begin the Why’s. Why is that who I want to be? Why do I react that way? Why do I want do I care about behaving in a certain way? The healthy answers come from learning our values and beliefs.

The second component is Honesty. As we answer the questions from our empathetic work, honesty becomes more and more relevant. It requires us to call ourselves out on our B.S. And that B.S. is a major contributor to the derailment of living the lives we want. Unless we have lived completely alone with absolutely no cultural influence, we have to work through this. Throughout our lives we develop all these expectations for how we need to live and interact. Where we “need” to be or “should” be in our lives. These outside influences tend to alter our most fulfilling course and steers us onto the path we have been institutionalized to think we should be on. This is even trickier in today’s society. More than ever there are so many directions to go and everyone is saying that theirs is the “right” one.And since a lot of our morality is societally based it can tear us in a multitude of directions that all feel “kinda right”. Honesty helps is filter these directions and potential actions and gain clarity. It is that component that both allows us to ask, “If I’m honest with myself is this true for me?” as well as calls us out when we know we aren’t doing what our inner self feels we should.

After you have incorporated the first two components into your life, you hopefully have created a solid understanding of you and your personal individual identity, the most honest and genuine you. You’ll know you’ve got it when thinking upon that identity brings you joy and feels good and true. That is your inner identity or True Self. Now it’s time for the third component.

The third component is Congruent Action. This is the phase where you take your internal identity model, and create in in real life and practice. It is the point at which the dream transitions to reality. Congruent by definition means; in agreement or harmony. Congruent Action is thereby taking action, and making choices that are in harmony and agreement with your inner identity. It is the final component in the creation of your identity. It is the part that shapes your interactions, your responses and reactions. It is the part where choice is the most relevant because it is the part where you choose what you do based on WHO YOU ARE! It is how you create a life that is in alignment with your unique identity.

I can not fully explain why this is so helpful in your life without making this an excessively long article but I can tell you that we have more awareness of our true selves that we realize even if we don’t put in the work for greater discovery. And that each time we do something that is outside of what some part of us knows is right for us, it takes a toll on our physical and mental energy.

Living Your Identity, is about doing the things that truly matter to us, and experiencing the joy of living in that way. Each layer of truth you learn and the live into will leave you more energy to live the life you want. Take some time to seek out your next layer of truth and put into practice the are of congruent action. Life your life, no one else’s.


You Are All Exceptional!

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